Good Toilets Don’t Think



We caught eyes at the club, and I lured you back to my place for some hot sex. I tease you a little, before telling you the truth–we’re not going to fuck, baby. I’m a witch I’ve betwitched you. You deny of course, call me crazy, but before long your words stumble, you’re feeling tingly all over and like something’s wrong… Oh, also I forgot to mention, my toilet broke and I need a new one.. A new “toilet”?? You start to freak out… Shh, there’s no reason to worry sweetie– don’t you remember? You’ve always been my toilet. You were never human to begin with. See those pipes? And what’s this handle do? Haha. Each time you run away, you forget–it’s kind of funny, actually. But you’re mine. You’ve always been mine. But let’s make it official–I pull up a contract. It legally states that you are not a human, you’re a toilet, and toilets don’t own anything, so sign everything away to your owner. You sign, while you still have hands, anyway. Afterwards, you’ve finished transforming back to your true form. Wow, you look just like a real appliance! I sit down on your rim, and fill you with my big, full load of crap. Refreshing! Goodbye, toilet! And remember, good toilets don’t think.

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